MOVING PAST THE SAME OLD QUESTIONS

One of the most life-changing pieces of advice I ever received came from one of my elders as we relaxed on an ancient stone wall, watching a thin stream of pilgrims ascend the majestic pyramid in front of us. I had just absentmindedly given voice to a question that had been troubling me for months. My teacher cracked a wide smile, elbowed me gently, and said, "You might want to read the ingredients on that question -- they might be poisonous!"
 
Over the years, my teacher's simple remark became one of the most powerful tools in my medicine bag, helping me to recognize the toxic brew of judgments, assumptions, and expectations woven through the most seemingly important and persistent questions in my life. For example, take a question like, "why can't I just make up my mind and change this situation." The question assumes that I can't make up my mind, that the problem in my life is a failure to make up my mind, that something is wrong with me and figuring out what is broken will allow me to fix it. The question assumes that the situation must be changed, and I am the one with the power and right to change it. We all have questions like this, and can waste extraordinary amounts of time repeating them over and over, each time making ourselves feel more helpless and disempowered ...

How do we read the ingredients in our questions? If you have a few moments I want to encourage you to write down the most persistent questions in your life, leaving a healthy blank space beneath each question. Take a few minutes the feel how the question impacts your body, noting any sensations and feelings that arise. Does the question bring you alive and give you a sense of possibility, clarity, passion, and strength? Does it shut down possibilities, confuse you, numb you, or weaken you?  Your body doesn't lie! It will always tell you exactly what your questions are doing to you. Next, take a couple of minutes to write down all of the judgments, assumptions, and expectations hidden in each question. You may be quite surprised to discover that's your whole history and your imagined destiny are completely circumscribed by the questions you are asking!
 
Now for the really fun part: See if you can find questions that feel better to you, questions filled with possibility, questions that uplift you. Again, your body will give you immediate feedback on every question!  Don't try to get the questions perfect or to find questions with no assumptions or expectations; the quest for perfection is a deadly game. Instead, ask questions that feel good when you ask them and that make assumptions about you and your strengths, resources, and potential, that truly empower you.  Finally, be really daring:  once you have asked your questions, don't try to answer them in your head. Listen deeper inside you for the answer. You might even throw out the first few answers if they sound all too familiar, waiting for something richer and truer. Or, you might go with the first answer that comes, and dare to take action on your first impulse. Play with the questions! And no matter how compelling, how important, don't waste another moment of your life on a poisonous question.
 
Asking great questions and listening deeply for the truest answers is an art form, and takes long practice. Our assumptions, judgments, and expectations are often invisible to us, and we need the people around us to be clear, loving mirrors to help us recognize them. If you want to ask powerful and uplifting questions that make a profound difference in your own life, I hope you will reach out to me!   I have dedicated decades of my life to this practice, and it has made all the difference - one clear, heartfelt question can open the doors to spiritual freedom, in ways we never thought possible.
 
With gratitude,
Hunter